Ask Aunt Wendi: Chapter 4

Devoted Readership,

Love and turkey kisses to all! I apologize for the lengthy pause between this installment and the last one, but between sculpting my rock hard abs, decorating my house for Halloween, and faithfully sticking to my two-naps-per-day regimen, I just couldn’t find time for you people. Anyway, I’m back. And I’d like to remind you that Aunt Wendi is and amateur psychologist, not an amateur proctologist or gynecologist. Please keep that in mind when you send me your questions (I’m talking to you, Corky McPlug from Weaverville, CA!)

Happy Holidays!

(The following question has been paraphrased)

Dear Aunt Wendi,

My husband really, really wants to start using the back door, even though the front door is a much more pleasant entrance. I’ve spent lots of time and effort making the front door look pretty and inviting (you should see the wreath I’ve hung!) but he still thinks he’d like to come in through the back door on occasion. We’ve only been married for a few years, and I’m just not ready to let him “go there.” How can I be firm about this without hurting his feelings?

Michele

Dear Michele,

You don’t want to hurt his feelings? He’s asking you to behave like a common Kardashian, and you’re worried about hurting his feelings? Please! You need to set your boundaries or else he won’t respect you. I’m sure you’ve reminded him that the back entrance is where the garbage cans are located, and that he’s much too precious to spend time near the trash. But you might suggest another activity, like crawling through the upstairs window or sliding down the chimney. Be creative!

However, if he keeps nagging you about it the only reasonable thing to do is burst into tears and demand big jewelry. Men love that.

Cheers! Aunt Wendi

Dear Aunt Wendi,

I am a 55 year old woman who has decided to follow her dream and go back to nursing school. I’ve had naysayers, saying I won’ t last a year on the job, that I should lose some weight first, etc. I say screw them, I wanna follow my dream! What do you think Wendi?

Sherri

Dear Sherri,

I can’t believe you’ve encountered people who are actually discouraging you from becoming a nurse! That’s crazy. It’s not like you’re trying to join the rodeo or the Pussycat Dolls; nurses are in big demand. Especially COMPETENT ones! Don’t listen to the naysayers – they just want you to be as miserable as they are. Follow your dream because it’s a good one. And you’ll be amazed at how fast the weight will fall off when you are energized and happy about doing something you love!

Take it to the top! Don’t you ever stop! Aunt Wendi

Dear Aunt Wendi,

I’ve been getting huge anxiety attacks here and there during the past year. It’s so bad that it worries me that something is seriously wrong with myself.

Whenever I get an attack, I have to be around someone like a friend or family member I love in order for them to help me not be alone and just talk to me to relax. What would a sweet person like you do to help me get through my fears when I get an
anxiety attack?

Kelli

Dear Kelli,

I’ve never seen anyone have an anxiety attack, so if you ever had one in front of me I would do the following:

1.) Tell you to CUT IT OUT!

If you continued, I would then

2.) Administer CPR.

If that still didn’t help, I would bring in the heavy artillery and

3.) Hand you my Mastercard.

But seriously Kelli, I am reminded of a theory I learned in my community college Introduction to Psychology class back in 1991, which stated that anxiety/panic attacks are often triggered by everyday events, but are actually indicative of a larger problem; primarily that the individual feels a lack of control over his/her greater circumstances. So Kelly, do you have things in your life that you can be proud of? Are you good in school, good at your job, have good friends, a good support system, etc? If not, you need to actively take the steps to change that. When you feel like you’re on solid ground, the anxiety attacks will stop. Yes, sometimes it’s scary to confront problems head on, but NOT confronting them is even scarier and makes you feel powerless.

Good luck! Aunt Wendi